Netflix’s The Old Guard is a movie about four immortals who use swords and guns to do good deeds in the modern world. A young pharmacy tycoon wants to harness their genes in order to make another fortune just as a fifth immortal arises. There is lots of shooting, lots of cliches, and the obligatory story seed planted for the sequel. That’s about it.

Charlize Theron is inequitably too good for this movie. If you want to see her actually acting in a great action movie, try Atomic Blonde or Fury Road. Every line she had in The Old Guard has been uttered at least once in some other action movie at some other point in time. Even she seemed bored by her character.

Chiwetel Ejiofor was also too good for this movie. Unlike Theron, he actually gave it a solid shot and added some dimension to his character, but even he couldn’t get The Old Guard off the ground.

Otherwise, there is no good reason to watch this film. It’s too long, too contrived, too cliched, too obvious, and the dialogue is too lazy.

I cannot recommend The Old Guard.