I realize this has been out for awhile, but maybe I’ll get lucky and this review will still prove helpful to you.

If you have the chance to see this movie, let me go ahead and save you some money by saying you should pass.

Don’t get me wrong — I had a great time watching it.  It’s just that most of my joy derived from the movie’s terrible dialogue, lackluster acting, and enormous plot holes.  In other words, this movie was so bad that it was good.  If you’re into that kind of thing, then you should go for it.

But if you’re coming for Statham’s amazing fighting skills, you’ll be sorely disappointed.  There’s not one fistfight to be seen in this film.  If you’re hoping for incredible stunts, you’ll be let down on that front as well.

However, if you’re into special effects, The Meg will delight.  Obviously, the CGI shark is pretty incredible.  Don’t discount the nearly seamless blending of CGI and reality, as well.  I honestly had a hard time discerning where the CGI ended and the real materials began.  The underwater portion of the film was amazing, by the way.  It looked really, really good.

There were also some genuine thrills in The Meg.  One moment even made me jump.  Much of it will strike you as fairly predictable and cliched, but it’s still exciting to watch.

The movie comes crashing down a bit when you start to think … even a little.  There are several plot holes that are hard to overcome.  Even harder to get past, though, is the bad, bad, really bad acting.  I think the little girl in the movie may have been the best actor.  Contemplate that for a moment.

The real reason I wanted to see The Meg is because I heard somewhere that it was the best shark movie since Jaws.  Trust me when I say it’s not.  I have no idea what other shark movies outrank it, because I’m not that into shark movies, but this dud failed to give me what I most wanted — a giant shark wreaking havoc at every opportunity.  There were too many near-misses for my taste.  The film was far too kind to its characters.  Not enough wanton destruction for a monster movie.  I’m generally not into wanton destruction, mind you, but if I’m going to monster movie, then, yeah, I want wanton.

So if you want a fairly mundane giant shark movie, The Meg might be up your alley.  Probably not, though.  It was good for some laughs, however.  And yes, I was that annoying guy laughing at all the wrong moments.  Sorry.  I couldn’t help myself.

(Did you enjoy this article?  Check out Scott William Foley’s short stories HERE!)