Note: Originally Posted 8-24-06
In an amazing and historical event, 424 astronomers (which is less than five percent of the global astronomer community) voted Pluto out of its esteemed title of “Pluto: Planet.” Now Pluto is embarrassed to have to introduce himself as “Pluto: Dwarf Planet.” Come on guys, Pluto knew he was the teeniest of planets, but to demote him as an official dwarf planet…isn’t that just a little mean-spirited?
When asked for comment, the other planets didn’t really care much that Pluto has been kicked out of their club. Many of them described Pluto as, “cold,” “distant,” and “really, really small.”
Neptune, Pluto’s closest friend, went so far as to say, “I barely ever saw the guy around. I’m not going to miss him.” Uranus seemed relieved and offered, “At least I don’t have to listen to his stupid jokes about my name anymore.”
One planet who asked to remain anonymous in case Pluto ever gets readmitted into the Planet Club said, “You know, nine planets was such an odd number. With eight planets, we don’t have to have a sub anymore when we play a game of pick up b-ball.”
Oh, Pluto. I will miss you so. No matter what those less-than-five-percent-of-global-astronomers say, you’ll always be a planet in my book. Good luck with wherever your travels take you-I’m guessing still around the sun.