Surprisingly, I Don’t Give Rave Reviews To Every Movie I See, and Here’s the Proof!

I know it typically seems as though I write glowing reviews for a lot of movies.  The fact of the matter is that, like all of us, my time is limited so I typically write only reviews for those movies I actually enjoyed.  My wife and I watch many, many movies on DVD, so it’s hard for me to let you know about every single one of them, especially those that failed to move me in some way, shape, or form.

So, here it is!  Here’s a list of all the movies I’ve seen in the last six months that I didn’t feel compelled to write a review on.  Prepare for an onslaught of nastiness…

The Brother’s Grimm – Terrible acting, terrible story.

The Ice Harvest – Cusack usually good.  Movie bad.

Corpse Bride – I actually enjoyed this one.  Great animation with a fun premise.  Burton is gold in my mind.

The Weather Man – Nothing special about it.  At all.

Munich – I actually had to turn it off.  I can take some violence, but this just got to be way too much for me.  I understand violence is a part of our world, but I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to watch this one.

Broken Flowers – Hate to admit it, but it bored me to death.  Had to turn it off.

The Producers – Had to turn if off.  Very, very annoying.

The New World – Bored me to tears.  Didn’t watch the whole thing.

I Heart Huckabees – I actually loved this one.  I sadly simply never found the time to write a review on it.  Really good movie, but only if you’re into postmodernism and metafiction.

Fun With Dick and Jane – Run away from this movie as fast as you can … and don’t look back.  I’ll be praying for you.

Ultimate Avengers 2 – About as good as the first one, and that’s not very good.

Date Movie – Utterly stupid and insipid.

Memoirs of a Geisha – I know I’m supposed to like it, but I found it very difficult to sit through.

The Da Vinci Code – A heartless copy of a fun book.

Stay – Darn it!  I actually really liked this brain tease as well, I just never found the time!  Rent this one if you get a chance, I thought it was very engaging and it had some excellent acting.

March of the Penguins – See Memoirs of a Geisha

The Invincible Iron Man – Vincible.  Very vincible.  (I’m pretty sure that’s not a word, but alas …)

Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut – If you’re that into Superman, you’ll get a kick out of this.  It’s how the sequel was originally supposed to be, before director Donner got canned halfway through.

Lady in the Water – I won’t mention the director’s name because it’s obvious he’s in the business of promoting himself over his art and I’m not going to assist him what that, but let’s just say that this movie was wrong on every possible level.  It’s one thing to subtly give yourself a quick shot on screen if you’re a director, it’s another to make yourself an integral part of the plot, especially when you act as well as my dog Lady, and she’s been dead for 27 years (true story).

Beerfest – I can’t very well chide this movie when I’m the one that sat through the whole thing, but I am not proud of that fact.  If you’re actually drinking beer yourself, this will probably seem hilarious.  If you’re sober and you like it … God help you.

Marie Antoinette – Again, visually interesting at times, but rather snore-inducing.

A Scanner Darkly – Crud!  I really wanted to write an in-depth review on this one.  Long story short, rent it if you’ve got nothing else to see.  Kind of cool, kind of discombobulated, but definitely hard to take the eyes off of. 

Okay, the bloodbath is over.  Hope you enjoyed learning I, in fact, don’t like every single thing I see.  Disagree with some of my choices?  Feel free to sound off!

One thought on “Surprisingly, I Don’t Give Rave Reviews To Every Movie I See, and Here’s the Proof!

  1. hmks says:

    Personally I love writing reviews of movies I hated – it borders on therapy!

    Here’s my sound off:

    “Marie Antoinnette” ~ I loved this movie! Maybe because I’m a girl. I really like Sophia’s films. She makes beautiful (literally) movies.

    “The Weather Man” ~ Come on! A guy who walks around with a bow on his back is funny!

    “Munich” ~ I don’t think you should have turned it off! I thought it should have won Best Picture. Oddly, I don’t remember the violence, but it’s been awhile.

    “The New World” ~ Malick always does these kinds of movie. My husband really likes his work – it bores me. However, I did like the casting in this movie.

    “March of the Penguins” ~ This bored you? I loved it ~ but I have been known to watch hours of nature shows on PBS.

    “Lady in the Water” ~ Ditto. I couldn’t agree more. I really do not like that person who’s name we shall not mention. I liked his first movie, but haven’t cared for anything since.

    I have had “Memoirs of a Geisha” on my DVR for over a year. Don’t know if I’ll ever get around to watching it ~ swore I would read the book first, but haven’t gotten around to that either.

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