My $00.02 (Archived) « Scott William Foley

My $00.02 (Archived)

(10-14-07) - The Importance Of Action You may have seen on the news lately the wise and all-knowing talking heads are coming down pretty hard on Barack Obama because he dared to put on a suit without an American flag pin on his lapel.

It must have been a slow news day, for this thing blew up and he was finally forced to defend himself by saying that his actions display his patriotism far more than simply wearing a pin.

I found the whole thing pretty funny because it reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer took part in an Aids walk, but refused to wear the ribbon. He ultimately got ganged up on by the other walkers and beaten up because he refused to wear the ribbon, even though he was actively taking part in the walk. He finished the walk, by the way, though he had to drag himself across the finish line.

After 911, I think wearing the American flag pin proved to solidify one’s own resolve in their patriotism; it served to reassure people in distressing times; and it simply made people feel better on the inside. Somehow, however, as the years went by we started judging each other on if we wore a pin. And, as is the unfortunate trend, we have now exploited the pin to a degree where if a high level politician is seen without it, it becomes the main topic of the day across the news. The original purpose of the pin has been objectified and bent to serve ulterior motives, and I find that despicable. In my mind, that pin serves as a metaphor for far greater issues taking place within our nation.

I’m not a particularly political person. I don’t vote straight Republican or Democrat. I try to go with whoever seems most intelligent on the issues that I feel are important. And one issue that is important to me is the fact so many of us, myself included, talk a big game but rarely take any true form of action. We dream; we wish; we say what we’re going to do; we brag about accomplishments yet to be executed; yet, when it comes time to actually tally the score, few of us find that we have lived up to our own talk. And then, when people actually hold us accountable for failing to live up to our boasts, we take offense.

I worry that we’ve become a nation of talkers, not doers. What’s the point of wearing a flag if your actions don’t display patriotism in the least? What’s the point of saying how awesome you are if you’ve never actually done anything? We’re becoming a culture that praises people who have no discernable accomplishments, and then we mock those that do. This is troubling.

This is beginning to sound judgmental and harsh, and it’s certainly not meant to. I actually wanted this little essay to be motivating. I wanted to encourage you to chase your dreams, to go out and make something special happen! I wanted to get you psyched up not just to wear the pin, but also to actually do something that validates the pin!

So, what are you waiting for? Get out there and take action!

(8-26-07) - A Review Of Movin’ Out So way back when, my wife and I bought tickets for a “new” musical called Movin’ Out. It was based on the music of Billy Joel, and while I’m not a super-fan by any means, it was something to do. The show was supposed to arrive in early June. For some reason—I’m still not sure why—it kept getting pushed back. Finally they settled on this weekend, and so Kristen and I went to the matinee yesterday afternoon.

Apparently I’m a little too literally minded. When they touted it as a “new” musical, I figured that simply meant it was new on the scene, as opposed to say … Cats. Within seconds, however, I realized that they proudly declared it a “new” musical because it did not play by the typical musical rules.

Movin’ Out was basically a series of scenes set to Billy Joel songs that made up a larger story. However, there was virtually no dialogue. We were to infer the emotions and storyline though the interpretive dance as performed from the moment it started to the instant it ended.

I’m afraid I’m not that into dance. I don’t know much about it, but I know what I like, and I did not care for the apparent mish-mash of dance that was somehow supposed to convey emotion and the human condition. Truthfully, most of it looked silly. I’m not knocking the performers, how they danced for nearly two hours straight with little rest is beyond me, and I’m sure some of the dancing they executed was stylistically sound and very demanding, but frankly, it looked ridiculous.

Just one man’s opinion.

Furthermore, the musicians were on a sort of catwalk above the stage, within sight of the audience but suspended above the dancers. They were good, certainly. However, I really would have liked canned Billy Joel singing with live musicians, as opposed to what I considered basically a Billy Joel impersonator. Don’t get me wrong, he sang the songs exactly right and sounded just like Billy Joel, but that’s my beef. Give me the real thing or give me your own style, not just a knock-off.

Wow, I sound really bitter and a little jerky, don’t I?

All in all, I don’t recommend this “musical” unless you really love to watch dance. Because there was no acting or dialogue, I think I’ll stick with the “old” musicals.

(6-9-07) - The Best Book You’ve Never Read About once a year, I like to remind my friends that there is a superb book out there they’ve never read. It’s by a terribly talented man from my neck of the woods named Ken Bradbury. The book is a short story collection called homerville, and if you grew up or live in Central Illinois, you’ll love it—no doubt. It’s from a small publisher, but don’t let that scare you off. We need to support our living artists who are still waiting for a national audience, and this man is a great one to back. I hope you enjoy it!

Here’s a link to at Consortium Publishing.

Here’s a link to it at Amazon.

There, now you have no excuses!

(5-24-07) - Meeting Michael Chabon About a year ago, Michael Chabon (who is, in my opinion, America’s greatest living author) had been scheduled to do a book signing at the Harold Washington Library in Chicago in order to promote his latest novel, The Yiddish Policeman’s Union.

One problem—the book got delayed for many different reasons.

That being said, the Chicago appearance obviously was cancelled, and I was devastated. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I was very disappointed. Chabon is my literary hero, and I wanted to meet him terribly.

So several weeks ago, I discovered that with the novel coming out on May 1^st of 2007, his appearance at the Harold Washington Library had been rescheduled for the 21^st of May. Well, after losing out last time, I knew I would always regret it if I let this opportunity pass. I took a personal day from work, and Kristen and I made a trip out of it.

Monday night arrived and we made our way to the Harold Washington branch of the Chicago Public Library. Neither of us had ever been there before, so after finding our way inside we asked a helpful security guard to direct us to the Michael Chabon signing. She pointed us into the next room, and from there a staff member escorted us to a reserved elevator. Had we not been with a few other anonymous Chabon fans I would have been a little unsettled by the strange proceedings.

All was well, for when we got off the elevator we were immediately faced with multiple persons waiting in line to sign in and get their reserved tickets. Luckily, my self-diagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder served us well as we were nearly an hour early. Even so, after receiving our ticket and entering the room he would actually be speaking in, we only got about a fourth of the way to his podium; all of the front seats had already been filled.

So, Kristen and I sat and waited. I had a wonderful time listening to all of the conversations taking place around us as people discussed their favorite works of Chabon. Several minutes passed and then, finally, I caught a glimpse of Michael Chabon coming from the front of the room and grabbing a seat in the first row.

I seemed to be the only one who saw him!

I immediately wanted to scream, “There he is!” but, thankfully, my common sense prevailed and I instead grabbed my wife’s arm and whispered loudly, “There he is!”

What kind of fans were these? No one seemed to even care he had entered the room!

Anyway, several of the event’s organizers gave their spiel and then they finally introduced Michael Chabon. Just before he opened his mouth, I realized that all the trouble of taking the personal day and traveling to Chicago had totally been worth it.

Then he spoke. (Man, I totally sound like a freakazoid stalker, don’t I?)

I won’t recount the entire talk and reading, but let me just say that this man is a Pulitzer Prize winning author. This is a world-renowned author. He is, in every conceivable way, a very big deal. Best of all? He was totally cool.

I couldn’t believe the humility and warmth the man exuded! He genuinely seemed like a nice guy, and that made me feel very good about touting him as our greatest living author. So many times, people reach his stature and become—how should we put it?—arrogant. Not so with him. He cracked many jokes at his own expense, and when the audience put forth questions (some of them asinine in every sense of the word), he handled them with grace and respect. The faulty microphone they gave to the questioners didn’t even faze him. He was a class act, without a doubt.

When it came time for the actual book signing, our tickets all had a number on them. Because five hundred people had showed up, they had us get in line by groups of fifty. I was ninety-one and Kristen was ninety-three (don’t know how that happened), so we had to sit and wait for quite a while, which was fine. We didn’t actually have to get in line in numerical order, but they have the first fifty people get in line, then the next fifty, and so on.

My all-time favorite book by Chabon is called The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (if you haven’t read it, leave your computer, get in your car, drive to your nearest bookstore, and purchase it immediately—I’ll wait for you to return … Back already? Good, I’ll continue). I realize it’s considered common courtesy to only have an author sign one or two items, so as much as I wanted to bring my entire Chabon collection up for him to sign, I limited myself to this favorite paperback of mine. I gave my wife his latest release, The Yiddish Policeman’s Union, and we agreed she would have it signed specifically to me—first and last name. (Yes, I’m that neurotic.)

As we got nearer, we saw that Chabon was taking his time with people, actually talking with them, and most surprising of all, he extended his hand to every single one of his fans before they even got directly in front of him! The women in front of us had their books signed, and then one of them took out a camera and sheepishly started to ask if she could take his picture with her friend. Before she could even finish, he was out of his seat and putting his arm around her friend, saying, “Sure, no problem!”

I had been contemplating the words I would say to the man who inspires me on a regular basis. I was prepared to discuss his themes, his many interests, and his impact upon both the literary world and pop-culture in general (after all, he’s appeared on The Simpsons). I even had brought a spare copy of my own novel, fantasizing that I would give it to him, he would read it as he sat alone in his hotel room, then seek me out as a peer and we would keep in touch through correspondence for the rest of our days.

Instead, within the span of a minute and a half, I introduced my wife to him twice (no idea why), spat out something about Kavalier and Clay being my favorite book, and generally acted like an eight-year-old girl standing before Justin Timberlake. My wife had a wonderful time laughing at the star-struck, babbling fool I had morphed into.

Be that as it may, I shook my hero’s hand, and he signed two books to me—to Scott Foley. No matter what happens, no matter what becomes of me, for those few seconds he knew I existed and those books are proof of it. Those books will always cement the fact that I met Michael Chabon, and he signed his work for me. Our names will forever be linked.

Like I said, it was all totally worth it.

Man, I really do sound like a stalker. I’m starting to creep myself out! Oh, well, if you’re a literature fan, maybe you can relate.

On a final note (if you’re still reading this, you’re a saint), I’ve decided to reread The Yiddish Policeman’s Union. I usually don’t take the time to do such a thing, for there are far too many books I want to read and not nearly enough time to do so, but I rushed through the book so quickly I didn’t really savor it. I compare it to wolfing down a meal without tasting any of the food. I wanted to have the book finished before it was signed, but now I realize I didn’t focus on it enough in my haste. Having met the man and listened to his personal thoughts on this book in particular, I think I’ll read it anew with a greater appreciation.

I tell you, when you find out your literary hero is a genuinely nice person, it just makes you feel all the better about following his career and trying to get anyone who will listen to read him as well.

(5-1-07) - New Chabon Release Pulitzer Prize-winning author Michael Chabon has a new book out today called The Yiddish Policemen’s Union. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Chabon is, in my mind, America’s greatest contemporary author and it was with the giddiness of a kid in a toy store that I ran into Barnes and Noble to get my copy.

I don’t know much about its plot because I didn’t want any spoilers, but I can tell you that it takes place in an alternate history where Franklin Roosevelt’s idea to make a portion of Alaska the new Jewish homeland actually came to fruition.

If you’ve never read Chabon, now’s the time to jump onboard!

(4-20-07) - I Can’t Imagine We’ve all heard plenty of horrifying accounts about the Virginia Tech. tragedy. My condolences go out to all the victims and their families of that senseless massacre.

However, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, today I learned that Professor Liviu Librescu, who barred the door from the gunman while his students leapt from the windows, was a Holocaust survivor. He was killed by the gunman’s shots.

Can you imagine surviving such a monstrous atrocity only to be gunned down by a similar hatred over fifty years later?

Of all the awful accounts that have been reported from that terrible day, I can’t imagine what went through the brave professor’s mind as he lived his last moments.

You can read more about him here.

(4-12-07) - Goodbye, Mr. Vonnegut If you haven’t heard, the great American writer Kurt Vonnegut passed away. He died from brain injuries suffered from a fall a few weeks ago. I think it’s only fitting that we know every move Spears and Hilton make on a daily basis, but no one I know, many of whom are avid book lovers, had heard the news about Vonnegut’s fall.While I don’t agree with everything Vonnegut ever said, I couldn’t agree more with his views on maintaining one’s individuality and thinking always for one’s self.

You will be missed, Mr. Vonnegut.

(3-29-07) - LOST Is Found I know all the pessimists out there have been lamenting the downfall of LOST, claiming it’s gotten too far off track and will never recover its originality and charisma. (I regret to admit I was one of those people.) I can’t tell you how happy I am to report that as of last night’s episode, LOST is officially back to greatness!

Last night featured two of the most extreme reasons I feared the demise of LOST—Nikki and Paulo. Whenever Sawyer saw these two characters who were thrust upon us this season with little explanation, he summed up the fans’ thoughts best with, “Who the hell are you?”

Well, last night we discovered completely who Nikki and Paulo were. With a clever bit of splicing, we got a complete update as to where they came from, what they were doing the first two seasons, and what their motivations are. Were. Sorry.

I won’t get too in-depth, but last night’s show gave us action, intrigue, characterization, humor, tension, and even pulled at the old heartstrings a little. And finally—FINALLY—when the show ended I was screaming, “What?! WHAT?!”

Once upon a time I did that regularly at the conclusion of each episode of LOST. I’m happy to say I’m doing it once more.

(3-10-07) - GOOD CALL ON GYLLENHAAL I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Maggie Gyllenhaal has all but signed on to the Batman Begins sequel (called The Dark Knight) to replace Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes.Let me say, I couldn’t be happier about this decision. First of all, the sequel will tout the talents of Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Heath Ledger, and Aaron Eckhart. Does Katie Holmes really stand a chance of standing up to talent like that? No way. But does Gyllenhaal? Most definitely.

Listen, I liked Katie Holmes just as much as you did up until the literal day Batman Begins opened. I didn’t care she was linked with Tom Cruise, didn’t bother me at all. However, what did bother me was when she brought him along to the premiere and everything and everyone got overshadowed by all-powerful Tomcat. I’m sure Christopher Nolan was seething that his hard work had turned into just another media circus for the Hollywood power couple.

Listen, Holmes, by doing that, proved that she cared more about herself than her art and the film she was promoting at that moment, and, in my eyes, that contradicted everything the rest of the cast and crew were doing.

To top it all off, in my opinion, Gyllenhaal is twice the actor Holmes is, and I think her every-woman appeal will prove a good match with Bale.

(3-5-07) - A REVIEW OF CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: DELIRIUM On March 1^st my wife and I went to the Peoria Civic Center to see Cirque Du Soleil: Delirium. We’ve really been trying to take advantage of these sorts of things lately, so even though it was on a work night, we thought, “Why not!”The show itself was very impressive. I’m sure you’ve all seen Cirque Du Soleil on TV, but the difference between that and Delirium is the fact that it’s not only the regular sort of thing you would expect but also a full-blown concert. They had four singers, sometimes alone on stage, sometimes together, and so along with all the acrobatics and amazing props, there was constantly music and songs performed by live musicians.

Of course, so much was going on there was a real danger of sensory overload, but everything was beautifully produced and executed. I would really recommend seeing this show if you get the chance.

However, I’m afraid the Peoria Civic Center just did not do it justice. Nothing against the Civic Center, but it’s a little run down and just did not suit the extravagance of Delirium at all. We had floor seats and were packed in tighter than …well, you can fill in your own tasteless cliché. I found it hard to completely lose myself in the show due to the lackluster surroundings.

But again, the show itself, as well as each and every one of the performers, was magnificent.

(2-18-07) - MY THOUGHTS ON JOHN MAYER IN CONCERT So, lo and behold, we had a major artist visit Central Illinois! When my wife and I had the opportunity to see John Mayer at the US Cellular Coliseum in Bloomington, how could we resist?

Let me get this out there from the get-go, I’m not a huge John Mayer fan. I’ve never disliked him, but it’s been a long time since I sat down and listened to any of his CDs.

That being said, just the excitement of being at a concert with a Grammy winner performing had me hitting on all cylinders, so I think Mayer would have had to really offer us a terrible performance to disappoint, which he did not.

In fact, I was surprised at what a good showman he was. Also, he struck me as very genuine and personable with his audience. He made a point several times to comment on the energy in the Coliseum, and he was right. He had a very appreciative and enthusiastic crowd. Hopefully that news will get around and we’ll see more big names in the heart of Illinois.

He’s a fine singer, but for me, his songs get a little old. They’re very mellow, which is awesome if you’re reading a book or trying to have a little romance, but I found myself at time wishing he’d move along to whatever song he had planned next.

But, I can tell you for sure what was certainly not mellow—his guitar playing! I’ve heard Mayer was a pretty good guitarist, but let me tell you, he is tremendous! I couldn’t believe the things he was doing with it, and he gave us a little funk, a little rock, and a bit of everything in between. I just wish he’d take some of that raw energy and put it into his songs, but alas.

Of course, his back-up band was very talented, and Mayer made a point of introducing them and giving them each a moment in the literal spotlight. He also had a giant set of screens behind him that would light up in various colors as well as a pretty cool light show. Again, he talked with us quite a bit, and he really was pretty funny and, again, very genuine. He even got tongue-tied on several occasion and made light of it. He signed all the posters in the front row, talked about two little girls that he thought had to have been his biggest fans in the whole US, and made a point to try to acknowledge all the signs he could read in the audience.

Like I said, a great musician, but I would love to see him take his guitar skills and apply them to a little edgier music. But hey, he’s his own man, and I commend him for doing it his way.

His opening act was a guy named Mat Kearney, and man, would I hate to be an opening act. First of all, he was very good. But, you know, people were still milling in during his entire set and getting beer and talking to each other; in other words, just generally not paying him any attention. I was on the floor, row 32, and I stood, along with the rest of the floor, during the entire Mayer set. We all sat for Kearney. Poor guy. Especially because, like I said, he really was pretty good. Anyway, finally, he played his last song, and boom!, everybody recognized it. Then you saw all the camera phones flashing and people started clapping. Ah well, that had to make him feel a little better.

On another side note, the people in my section kept looking back at the sound area, which was not too far behind us. There were rumors that Jessica Simpson was sitting in there. You know, she and Mayer are supposed to be an item these days. Anyway, I gave in and looked myself, and was pretty sure I didn’t see her. But, when Mayer had nearly finished his encore, there was some commotion behind us, and I turned around and yep, there she was, in the middle of a pack of security guys being led out of the arena. Let me just say that Jessica Simpson seems to be the antithesis of everything John Mayer stands for, so I don’t see what is going on there. Well, I do see it, and I guess he’s a red-blooded American male, but c’mon John! You write songs; you play the guitar, you dress like a normal dude! She is so far below you in terms of talent, John . . . just please don’t let her drag you into an MTV reality show. … Please …

So, all in all, good show, great crowd, awesome guitar playing, and a lot of fun!

(1-6-07) - OUR TRIP TO LAS VEGAS: A REFLECTION As my wife and I both have careers that afford us the luxury of vacation time between December 23^rd and January 8^th, we decided that to sit around the house twiddling our thumbs, while inexpensive, would be a terribly foolish use of time on our parts. Hence, in an incredibly impulsive move one evening, we booked airline tickets to Las Vegas, a room at Caesars Palace, and two tickets to see Celine Dion: A New Day.

From that moment on, we could never turn back.

We arrived in Las Vegas on January 1^st, around 11:00 am, and left on January 4^th, around 1:30 pm.

What I would like to do for you, friend, is break down our vacation into experiences. I think this will make it both easier to read and will allow you to jump around to the topics of most interest. I will bold and underline each experience to catch your eye. I hope you enjoy it and happy navigating!

Las Vegas: On the whole, I loved it. By no stretch of the imagination would I compare it to one of the most beautiful cities of the world, rarely will you find a greater example of commercialism and indulgence, but if you find yourself bored in Vegas, you’ve got problems. I am not a big gambler or partier (anymore), and I still had a wonderful, wonderful time. Yes, the crowds are atrocious and there can be severe culture clash as you’ll hear every language across the globe, but that is a small price to pay for all the city has to offer. Trust me, I detest crowds, and even I managed to tolerate the throngs of humanity.

Money: My wife and I are DINKs (double-income, no kids) and so the following piece of advice is a little easier for us, but if you are going to Vegas, you MUST be willing to spend money. You cannot do anything without dropping a wad, and they charge you for everything, so loosen up and let it go. Easier said than done for those of you with single-incomes or a couple of little ones to take care of, I know, but in all truth, there is very little to do out there unless you’re willing to pay. Of course, if you’re a high roller, you might get a bunch of stuff compensated, but I’m not, and so I paid, but I paid with a smile on my face the whole time as I loved everything I paid for.

Caesars Palace: We stayed at Caesars Palace, and while it was expensive, it was absolutely worth every cent. Extravagant is too mild a description. Everywhere you looked you saw murals, statues, ornaments. We truly had not one disappointment with our stay. As you probably have surmised, it works on an Ancient Rome theme, specifically during the time of Julius Caesar.

As soon as we got there I knew we’d made the right choice. The help were absolutely the nicest people imaginable, and the gentleman, Tom, who checked us in spent more time than necessary offering advice on shows and things to do. In fact, he clued us in on a performer’s last show in Vegas we had to see, but I’ll talk more about that later. Let’s just say I was glad Tom brought it to our attention.

Tom also offered us a room upgrade, which I’m sure everyone gets, and while it cost us a little more each night, we took it. My wife and I once passed on a first-class upgrade on a flight to St. Lucia and have forever regretted it, and so I now take upgrades more seriously. I am so glad we took it. Our room size, including the bathroom, almost doubled. Plus, unlike some other pricey avenues I’ve stayed at, everything in the room, and around the mammoth hotel really, was very clean.

Caesars Palace has something like 12 restaurants, 11 bars/lounges, and 21 shops. Of course, the Forum Shops, attached to Caesars Palace, also has 100 stores and 13 restaurants. So if you’re a shopper, which we’re not, you will think you’ve touched down in fantasyland. Personally, I didn’t recognize 98% of the names I saw on the storefronts, but my wife assured me they were all very posh.

Along with all that, of course, it has a fully functioning casino, as well as a beauty salon, a health spa, and plenty of swimming pools.

Finally, Caesars Palace also has the Colosseum where Celine Dion and Elton John regularly perform. More on that to come later.

We easily could have spent our entire stay in Caesars Palace and been perfectly content and entertained. If you’re willing to drop a little more money than an average hotel, I severely recommend you stay at Caesars Palace.

Eiffel Tower Experience: In the Paris, we took part in the Eiffel Tower Experience. You basically take a ride to the top of a half-sized replica of the Eiffel Tower. We went up at night and got a breath-taking view of the city. Just like the real Eiffel Tower, you are exposed to the elements and so it was a little chilly, but nothing too terrible. My wife and I have both been in the real Eiffel Tower and were still pleased with our trip up Las Vegas’ doppelganger. Before you get on the elevator, they take your picture, which you may purchase on your way out if you like. We liked the picture and so took advantage of the opportunity.

Fountains of Bellagio Water Ballet: This is a free show that takes place every, if I’m not mistaken, 15 minutes. It’s a magnificent spectacle in the fountains outside the Bellagio with high-powered waterspouts sending air hurtling to the heavens in rhythm to music playing over speakers. I’d say the fountains stretched maybe a quarter of a mile in length, so it was truly quite a show. We watched it both during the day and at night. During the night everything is accentuated with lights, but I liked it better during the day because you could see the water in greater detail. Very cool.

Madam Tussand’s Wax Museum: This was one of my absolute favorite things we did during our trip. Located in the Venetian, this museum had dozens and dozens of celebrity replicas. The best part was that they left out little interactive baubles for you to use while posing with your favorite celebrity. For instance, they had George Clooney in a little wedding chapel and left out bridal gowns for the ladies to slip on over their clothes. They also had golf clubs on the putting green with Tiger Woods. Celebrity figurines ranged from athletes to musicians to actors to historical figures. They also had a haunted house tour featuring The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but Kristen shoved me through it so fast I didn’t get to see much. I still love her, though!

We posed with virtually every figure they had, so we had a great time. You must be willing to look like an idiot in front of all the other tourists, however, otherwise you may be too timid to pose for pictures and thus have a lackluster time.

Siegfried and Roy’s Secret Garden and Dolphin and White Tiger Habitat: Siegfried and Roy may not be performing any longer, but their names are still everywhere, including this habitat which offers full above and below water views of dolphins as they are swimming leisurely about or working with researchers and trainers. They also offer very up-close views to lions, cheetahs, panthers, regular tigers, and white tigers. They had the cats in pens with all kinds of vegetation and downed trees, and most of the cats were lounging upon them without giving us a second look. It really felt very special and the white tigers were mesmerizing. Again, this was well worth the price of admission and is near the top of my list of favorite sites we took in while at Las Vegas.

Gondola Ride: This was a gondola ride we could have taken through the Venetian’s shops. We were stoked to do it until we actually got there and saw that the ride was very short and that the shoppers, including ourselves, stopped and gawked just feet away from the folks taking the ride. I’ve taken a real gondola ride in Venice and simply refused to pay the fare for this substitute. Don’t get me wrong, it looked pleasant enough and was very fun to watch, but I just didn’t think the experience on the water would have been any better than what we were getting on land.

Guggenheim-Hermitage Museum: This museum in the Venetian featured the work of Robert Mapplethorpe. The actual exhibition was entitled Robert Mapplethorpe and the Classical Tradition. The work shown was mostly his photographs, and they featured a comparison between the themes of classic Greek sculptures and works with his nudes and still-lifes. While my wife and I both appreciated the artist and his work, some of his photographs were explicit and the general content proved beyond our usual tastes. However, I was happy for the exposure to an artist I had not previously been familiar with and certainly support his legacy.

David Copperfield: An Intimate Evening of Grand Illusion: Tom, the pleasant man who checked us in at Caesars Palace, recommended we see David Copperfield. My wife and I were not even aware he was in Vegas, so soon after we got to our room we called MGM Grand, his venue for the show, to see if we could get tickets. Luckily for us, they had a few available and so the following night we took in his show!

I’ve been a fan of Copperfield since I was a little kid and I can’t think of many more people who have worked themselves into the social conscious of pop-culture. In fact, the show began with a series of clips highlighting all the times he’s been mentioned. They ranged from cartoons to movies to television shows to songs. It really made quite an impression on me.

Once he finally came out, he started off a little slow, almost as though he didn’t want to be there. But, the man completely had me eating out of his hand by the end of the show as he warmed up and got his engines revving. What astounded me most was his great humor and ability to handle his crowd. He was very interactive with his audience and had many, many people get up on stage with him by randomly throwing frisbees out into the crowd. When he got one fella who didn’t speak English, he dealt with it and pulled the guy up on stage anyway. He never got angry, but his frustration at times was obvious and his jokes making light of the situation seemed completely off the cuff and, in my opinion, were hilarious. He desperately wanted to know if the man wore boxers or briefs, and he finally had to simply guess as all Spanglish attempts and hand gestures got him nowhere.

He gave us a lot of the standard stuff you see on television, but he did a few things, like appearing right in the middle of the audience, that had my wife and me completely baffled. All in all, he gave us an amazing show and I completely understand how he has become the megastar he is. Though a little pompous and self-serving, he didn’t make any attempt at pretending otherwise and actually made jokes about it.

We actually felt a little bad for him because his audience didn’t seem very entertained and were a little lame. Kristen and I were laughing and clapping non-stop and the people around us must have thought we were crazy, but were having a great time! I am so glad Tom brought this show to our attention.

Bellagio Botanical Gardens: I think we were expecting some sort of gargantuan greenhouse, so when we came upon a little patch of vegetation in the Bellagio, we weren’t all that impressed. They had it decorated with Christmas themes and it was very tastefully done, I think we simply had an image in our minds it couldn’t live up to.

Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay: Found within Mandalay Bay, this was very impressive. It offered a wide array of sea life, from piranhas to stingrays to jellyfish to many species of sharks, and, while a relatively short exhibition, you could stay as long as you wanted and it proved endlessly interesting. This also was one of my favorites.

Bellagio Gallery of Fine Art: We totally lucked out and caught an exhibit entitled Ansel Adams: America. Many of you are familiar with Ansel Adams’ work, but if you’re not, he is one of America’s favorite photographers specializing in American landscape. Let me tell you, it was breathtaking. Not only did it feature many of his actual photographs, but it also displayed actual letters written to and from him with friends and presidents, as well as some of his actual equipment he used throughout his life. Again, by far one of my favorite things we did in Las Vegas. I think Kristen, an avid photographer herself, felt both awed and inspired. As for myself, though not a photographer, this man compelled me that masterpieces arrive though careful planning, hard work, listening to your instincts, and taking some good old luck when it comes your way. Magnificent exhibition!

Celine Dion: A New Day: Okay, I’ll own up to it—I loved it. Those of you who know me personally probably know that I wasn’t the biggest Dion fan out there . . . in fact, I had gone on record as saying I thought she was the anti-Christ. However, my wife is a fan and I knew she’d enjoy it, and so I booked the tickets. Don’t get me wrong, while I wasn’t her biggest fan, I did understand she is one of the world’s biggest stars and jumped at the chance to see her in action, for I knew the production value alone would be worth my time.

Let me just say that within the first five minutes she had me completely won over. I will never, and I mean never, make fun of this woman again. The antics I once perceived as silly and over-the-top I now see as passionate and expressive. I make no apologies: this woman was simply and totally awesome. I’ve never seen anything like it and I don’t think I ever will again.

While simply watching her would have been enough, she also had all sorts of dancers and theatrics taking place around her as she performed. The costumes and props, along with a giant video screen behind her that became a part of the stage, made an already dazzlingly performance even more so.

Don’t get me wrong, the tickets were very expensive, but I’d see her again in a heartbeat. That’s how good she truly was.

Gambling: Kristen and I fully intended to play some slots, but we were so busy we never got around to it. We managed to take a quick picture of Kristen at a slot machine, but there were too many things I wanted to do beyond gambling. I don’t have a problem with gambling, don’t misunderstand, but I can go gamble in Peoria if I want. I can’t see Copperfield or Dion just anywhere.

Anyway, you can obviously gamble virtually anywhere in Las Vegas! Every hotel had a fully functioning casino, and even the airport had slot machines. No matter what time of day or night you passed through a hotel, there were always people at the slots or the tables. If you love to gamble, Las Vegas is the place for you!

Airports: We flew out of Peoria, Illinois, because they offer Allegiant Airline tickets for $99 one-way per person, non-stop. The Peoria airport is what you would expect for a little regional airport, so I don’t have any serious complaints.

The Las Vegas airport, however, impressed me to no end with its speed, productivity, and general organization. I dread a certain Chicago airport that shall remain unnamed and I was expecting that sort of general chaos at the Vegas airport, but it was nothing of the sort. This proved a very pleasant surprise for me.

So, okay! There you go! We loved it, absolutely loved it, and while I’m not sure I would go back next year, I can easily see myself traveling to Vegas again in a few years (after saving up). That is, unless we become DIKs (double-income, kids), in which case we may be going someplace a little less . . . well, you know. Thanks for stopping by, and if you have any questions I’d be happy to answer them!

(12-30-06) - LET’S MAKE OUR OWN JOKE! Okay, I’ll give you the material and the punch line; you come up with the actual joke.

Material: The movies The Good German and The Good Shepard

Punch line: The German Shepard

You can email me your endeavors at scottwilliamfoley @ gmail.com (remove spaces) or post your response over at MySpace. Aaaaand . . . go!

(12-21-06) - TOP FIVES OF 2006 This has become a bit of a tradition on my various websites. I like to reflect on whatever categories I feel inclined and list my favorites just for you. Keep in mind, some of these works have been out for decades, but I just discovered them in 2006. All items are listed in descending order. Feel free to check them out yourself or to chastise me for my ludicrous tastes. Whichever you prefer…Top Five TV Shows

        •Rome
        •The Colbert Report
        •The Office (US)
        •Arrested Development
        •Lost

Honorable Mention: The Office (UK)

Top Five Movies

        •Cars
        •Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
        •A History of Violence
        •The Human Stain
        •Walk the Line

Honorable Mention: A tie between Good Night, and Good Luck and The World’s Fastest Indian

Top Five Graphic Novels

        •Batman: Face the Face by James Robinson
        •V for Vendetta by Alan Moore
        •Ex Machina: Fact Vs. Fiction by Brian K. Vaughan
        •Fables: Homelands by Bill Willingham
        •DC: The New Frontier Vol. 1 and 2 by Darwyn Cooke

Honorable Mention: House of M by Brian Michael Bendis

Top Five Albums

        •Details by Frou Frou
        •Hot Fuss by The Killers
        •Impeccable Blahs by Say Hi to Your Mom
        •Nightcrawler by Pete Yorn
        •Speak for Yourself by Imogen Heap

Honorable Mention: Sam’s Town by The Killers

Top Five Books

        •Mr. Vertigo by Paul Aster
        •Where I’m Calling From by Raymond Carver
        •The Night in Question by Tobias Wolff
        •Close Range: Wyoming Stories by Annie Proulx
        •The World According to Garp by John Irving

Honorable Mention: Back in the World by Tobias Wolff

(12-07-06) - SCOTT VS. THE COFFEEPOTS OF THE WORLD I’m not sure what it is, but every time I pour coffee—EVERY TIME—I spill. I don’t know if there is some obscure gene in my family history that inevitably causes a drip here and a dribble there, but no matter how careful I am, no matter how painstakingly deliberate I make my every move…

Spilled coffee.

It’s not just my coffeepot, either. I go to pour a cup at work—spill. Friend’s house—all over the counter. Mom and Dad’s—whoops!

I have many, many goals in my life, and pouring a cup of coffee without one single mishap has just shot up into my top five.

(11-07-06) - A SOLUTION TO WRITER’S BLOCK We all get writer’s block, so if you’re currently suffering from a lack of creativity, no worries. It’s certainly nothing to get down about.

One tried and true method I’ve discovered for curing the greatest ill of a writer is simple in nature and, dare I say it, even a little fun.

Now, this is going to seem trivial, but trust your old pal Scott William Foley—it works.

Take out a piece of paper, any paper will due, and start jotting down titles. Just write them down, put no thought into it at all. It’s basically brainstorming, right? Whatever rolls into your mind, shoot it through the pen, pencil, or keyboard. Keep going until you can’t go anymore.

Put the paper (or file) away and don’t look at it for at least one day.

When you come back, I guarantee some of those titles will jump out at you. At least one or two of them will strike you as genius and inspire an entire story right before your eyes. I know this works because I do it all the time. In fact, this method gave birth to one of my most popular stories, “Puncher’s Paradise” found in The Imagination’s Provocation: Volume II. I had no idea what “Puncher’s Paradise” would be about when I wrote that title down, I just liked the sound of it. Muuuuch later, it turned into a pretty good short story, if I do say so myself!

So I hope this helps if you’ve been stuck in the grind lately. Sometimes it’s simply a matter of recapturing your playfulness to open the gates of creativity once more.

Best of luck, and let me know how it goes.

(10-24-06) - THE WRATH OF A RIGHTEOUS WRITER: REDUX Today I was in Barnes and Noble doing my responsible duty as a citizen of the World of Pop Culture and buying Stephen King’s latest novel (released today). Of course, I had to get a coffee from the little mom and pop coffee store called Starbucks and so I found myself wandering aimlessly about as I sipped on my coffee and clutched my King novel as though it were a happily discovered treasure (ironically, I would describe King’s latest novels as anything but a treasure).

Some of you may remember a self-righteous rant I rambled out almost a year ago when I discovered Nicole Richie (and I don’t even care if I misspelled her name) had been signed to write a book. It really frustrates me when people like Nicole Richie get book deals off of their name alone, because let’s face it, in a lot of cases, your name sells your book (um, but that’s not the case with King . . . <ahem!>).

I eventually got over my anger until today, when sipping on my Café Mocha I happened across a book by none other than . . . wait for it . . . here it comes . . . the suspense is unbearable . . . SNOOP DOGG! This is a hardcover edition with Snoop Dogg getting the credit as author (with a smaller name below it, probably the REAL writer). I tell you what, if I had ever been doused with gamma radiation, that would have been an instance in which I would have turned big and green, no doubt.

I’m sure Dogg’s book will shortly be on the best seller list, while I continue to linger in obscurity.

I know I’m being negative and it’s unbecoming, but c’mon, let me rant! I need to get it out of my system.

Okay. I’m better now. Thanks for listening (er, I mean reading).

(10-18-06) - MY NEW FAVORITE TV SHOWS If you know me personally, you already know I’m perpetually behind the curve when it comes to all things, “cool” in the world of television and music. Because I don’t have time to write a twenty-page entry, we’ll focus on TV today. Take LOST for instance. It was well into its second season before I got hooked. Same thing with Arrested Development.

Well, keeping with my trend, I’ve recently discovered two new shows that I LOVE (new to me, that is).

The first is the HBO original series, Rome. I love Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, so this one is right up my alley. My wife is a big history nut, so it fits nicely into her tastes as well. The show highlights Caesar’s rise to power while focusing on all the power players of the time period as well as the daily lives of two Roman soldiers. It truly is a fascinating show as it gives us glimpses into what history may have been and the drama of lives purely imagined. As you may have heard, the costumes are incredible, the acting is very well done, and each episode feels like a mini-movie, which makes sense on a network called Home Box Office. My wife and I were stunned at the level of nudity and sex in the first two episodes (even for HBO, it was very graphic), but that quickly tapered off and the meat of the storyline got rolling with episodes three through five. I personally think that they included all the sex and full frontal for the causal viewer who couldn’t care less about Caesar or Rome in order to get them hooked on the actual story as it took place between sex scenes. We haven’t finished the entire season yet on DVD so I can’t comment on how it ends. I don’t believe the second season has started yet. It will be interesting to see if they merely take it up to Caesar’s assassination (don’t tell me I spoiled it for you, you’ve been in World History), or if they will take it all the way through the aftermath of his murder as did Shakespeare.

My other new favorite show that I’m way behind the curve on is Entourage. It’s just plain funny. There’s no other way to say it. The characters are completely hilarious and charismatic. The show has that something that makes it hard to resist. If you’re not familiar with it, it is also a show on HBO that follows a young up-and-coming actor in Hollywood with his two friends and older brother. One of his friends is the responsible pseudo-manager, the other friend is the wanna-be ladies man gopher, and the older brother (my favorite character) is a washed-up actor living vicariously through his younger brother and picking up any scrap parts he can manage. The young actor’s agent is completely a scum sucking jerk and side-splittingly funny. I’ll admit it, this show is kind of a guilty pleasure. If you give it a shot, beware. The F-Bombs drop like they’re going out of style.

So there you go. My new favorite shows. I’m well on my way to becoming a TV junkie. Crap.

(10-7-06) - TWO WORDS: WOW! In my lifetime, there have been certain movies that came along and changed cinema as we know it. Sure, they may not have been the most esteemed of dramas, but they certainly changed the way movies look and the way they’re made. Off hand, I’d say, in the last thirty years, those movies include Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Titanic, The Matrix, and Lord of the Rings.

Well, strap yourselves in, folks, because the new groundbreaker is headed our way in March. It’s called 300, and here’s its official description:

“Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, 300 is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite.”

I can’t exactly put my finger on what makes this movie so different from anything I’ve seen so far, but it just feels different. Check its trailer out here.

(10-5-06) - JUST TO AVOID ANY CONFUSION . . . I know what you’re thinking; you’re thinking, “Hey, that congressman, Mark Foley, who sent the naughty e-mails to the little boys, why, he’s got the same name as Scott William Foley. I wonder . . .”The answer is “no.” Whatever it is you’re thinking, it’s “no.”

Glad we cleared that up.

(10-3-06) - DEATH, TAXES . . . AND SINUS INFECTIONS For the last five years in a row, I’ve had a sinus infection every October and March. I’m actually sitting at home right now waiting for my doctor’s appointment so I can get my usual antibiotic prescription. I wanted to tough it out this year, I really did, but the coughing and the headaches and the inability to breath through the nose, it gets to be too much, especially when my day job consists of a LOT of talking.

Go ahead and break out the violin. Got it? Up to the neck, ready to play? Good. You may begin . . . NOW!

I never got sinus infections until I moved down to North Carolina. And I didn’t get them in North Carolina, but when I returned to Illinois after living in the South for two years—BAM!—sinus infections. It’s like my body said, “Hey, I kinda liked the blue skies, lack of humidity, and pleasant weather down there. I think I’m going to remind you twice a year that I wanted to stay in the Tar Heel State.” I’m a big believer in mind over matter, but man, matter definitely trumps mind when it comes to my sinuses.

So, for me, I get to look forward to three certainties in my life: death, taxes, and, every six months—sinus infections.

(10-1-06) - LIFE IMITATES ART This is kind of old news, but, heck, you might just enjoy it anyway…

A few weeks ago I returned to my hometown of Beardstown, IL. The Beardstown Houston Memorial Public Library found it in their hearts to invite me along with several other local authors to take part in a short talk and book signing, and I could not have been more excited to touch base with old friends and promote my latest short story collection, The Imagination’s Provocation: Volume II.

The signing was to be held on Sunday, September 17^th, and so my lovely wife and I drove down to B-town Saturday afternoon so we could visit with my parents and try out the new Mexican restaurant. (New to my wife and me, at least. Pretty good food, by the way.)

After dinner we returned to Mom and Dad’s house and were discussing what I should talk about during my allotted time the following day. Many, many ideas were being thrown out faster than a cat with its tail on fire when my wife, let’s just call her Kristen (because it’s her name), asked us what was the day’s date.

“September 16^th,” we answered.

At that moment Kristen reminded me that one of my stories took place on a critical date—you guessed it—September 16^th!

I freaked out.

Now, you’re saying to yourself, “So what? It’s just a happy coincidence, like when you make sure you don’t have anything in your pockets before you do laundry and find a twenty dollar bill.”

I would agree with you normally, as we’re both fairly agreeable people, but you need to know a bit more information before you dismiss that date so readily.

You see, growing up, there existed many a legend in my hometown of Beardstown. One such legend claimed that if you went out to a certain cemetery at a certain time of night, there stood an old Civil War statue what would wave its arms and its eyes would glow red. Me being the brave soul that I am never tempted fate as I’m fairly certain seeing something like that would turn my thick and lustrous dark brown hair stark white.

However, those small town myths stuck to me and when I began writing the short story entitled “The Legend of Josiah Mibb,” found in my latest short story collection The Imagination’s Provocation: Volume II, that supposed Civil War statue served as the basis of my disturbing tale.

I can feel your curiosity through my keyboard, so let me give you the gist of “The Legend of Josiah Mibb.” In it, a small town has been dishonored for over a century because their soldiers who took part in the Civil War revolted against their commanding officer, Josiah Mibb, doing horrible, terrible things to him. The town was so ashamed, they erected a statue in Mibb’s honor, but it did little to ease their humiliation. It did nothing to settle Mibb’s anger, either, as once a year, even to this very day, the statue of Josiah Mibb comes to life and if you’re caught near it, you will soon find yourself dismembered, just as he was by the mutinous soldiers.

A young man and his wife return to town to visit the his parents, and when his wife learns of this tale and that the very date the statue was due to come to life was on the very day they were visiting, well, her inquisitiveness could not be satisfied unless she tempted fate and visited the statue.

As all husbands must, her husband gave in against his better judgment and they found themselves confronted with the statue at the very time it was to come to life. What happens next, you ask? Well, you’ll have to buy the book to find the answer to that, my friends, but let me tell you this: The legend of Josiah Mibb is not all that it seems, as our young husband and wife discover.

But, back to the original purpose of this growing-by-the-second-entry, the date in which the statue of Josiah Mibb was to come to life proved to be the exact date Kristen and I sat in my parents’ house—September 16^th! And, much like the wife in my short story, Kristen insisted we try to find the real Civil War statue my story was based upon.

I reluctantly gave in, and so, faster than you can say, “Boy, maybe we shouldn’t tempt a possibly haunted statue,” Kristen, Mom, Dad, even Carlee: The Foley Mascot, and I loaded into the Rendezvous.

Keep in mind that I didn’t even know the location of this statue! I thought it was in one, but my mom thought it was in another, so we went with what Mom thought. We drove across town and got on Chandlerville Road, pulled into the cemetery just outside of town, and, within no time at all, there we saw it!

We parked in front of it and my wife and I both experienced an extremely surreal moment. The dang thing looked exactly as we had imagined it! Weird, weird, weird, WEIRD! The statue was surrounded by many Civil War era headstones and, upon closely inspecting each and every one of them, I was greatly relieved to find not one had a name in common with any characters from my story. My wife, on the other hand, was just a tad disappointed that the coincidences had apparently ceased.

Thank the stars the statue’s eyes didn’t start glowing red like in my story. I would’ve thrown in the towel had that happened, for sure.

(9-24-06) - FRIENDS This weekend my wife and I returned to my hometown of Beardstown, IL so that we could hang out with our friends Drew, Heather, Matthew, Jacob, and Shinu as well as meet Drew and Heather’s beautiful first child, Olivia. Drew and Heather live out of state and Matthew, Jacob, and Shinu live in Chicago, so when the opportunity arose that everyone was coming to Beardstown, we wouldn’t miss it for the world!

It’s important to realize that Matthew, Jacob, Drew and I all grew up together on the same block and have been friends since, more or less, the age of five. It was so cool to sit there with them at the table and simply talk. We see each other rarely anymore, but whenever we get together it’s like no time has passed at all. I think that’s the mark of true friendship.

We dug out an old picture taken literally decades ago of one of my birthday parties when we were all well somewhere under ten years of age. We were gathered around a Batman birthday cake (no surprise there, right?) wearing our super-sweet early eighties children’s clothes. I know the wives, Heather, Shinu, and Kristen got a big kick out of seeing us as children as we’re now all almost thirty or past it. And I think the guys got a big kick out of it as well. I know I did, at least. My mom and dad took a group picture and I can’t help but wonder it we’ll all get together twenty years from now and dig it out from somewhere and pass it around.

I’m so grateful that we could all gather together yesterday. For Matthew, he left Chicago early in the morning on Saturday and then had to go back that very night because of work on Sunday. He left my parent’s house at ten at night with a five hour drive ahead of him (or, for him, a three and a half hour drive). Heather drove with Olivia by herself from out of state a few days ago because Drew had business in Texas. He drove in to Beardstown from St. Louis Friday night in terrible weather after his plane landed. Shinu, who is from India and hasn’t been in the States for very long, drove Jacob from Chicago as he slept due to a hard week, waking up periodically to give her ambiguous directions. It’s that kind of effort that really makes friendships work, no matter what the length of space and time.

I’m proud to count these people as lifelong friends.

(9-11-06) - WHERE WE WERE WHEN THE TOWERS FELL Five years ago on this day I was teaching at East Gaston High School in North Carolina, just outside Charlotte. I was 24 years old at that time.

We taught on something called the block schedule, which, in our case, meant I had four 90 minute periods a day, one of which was a prep period.

I had just finished teaching 1^st period and stood in the hall keeping track of things. A teacher came up to me and told me a plane had just hit the World Trade Center. Of course, I said something to the effect of it must have been a prop plane that had somehow gotten off course.

I had a television in my classroom propped from the wall and so I turned it on to see the news coverage. I was shocked when I saw the first tower that had been hit in smoke and flames. I realized then that it had not been a mere prop plane that had struck it.

Reports soon informed me that it had been a passenger plane that had smashed into the side of it. The cause of the impact had yet to be determined, but I know I assumed it had to be a terrible, terrible accident.

When I saw the second plane strike the second tower live on television, I knew it was no accident, and I think most people knew it as well.

I sat at a desk in my empty classroom completely shocked. When the first tower fell, and then the second, I moved into whatever realm exists beyond shock.

When 3^rd period started, I had students ushering in and I had a choice: teach my lesson planned for that day or discuss what was happening at that very moment. Of course, the decision was an easy one and we talked at length about the terrible loss of life and the fact that people were dying even as we spoke. We all were very emotional at that prospect and we watched the television in a respectful silence, as did all my classes for the rest of that school day.

Of course, when I got home to my empty rental house I turned on the TV and remained glued to it for the rest of the night. I had just come off a bad breakup and wanted nothing more than to move back to Illinois, but I knew I had eight more months to go before I could do that. As I sat there, alone in the dark, watching the events unfolding and thinking about how long it would be before I got back to what I considered my home, I really and truly couldn’t imagine what it would be like for the people in those towers and on those planes who would never get to go home again. They would never hold their child, their husband or wife, their friends or family, ever again. I thought of the loved ones of those victims and what a horrible, horrible reality they now faced. I thought of the brave men and women rushing to rescue anyone they could, and I wondered if I could ever have that sort of selflessness and courage.

Over the next few days I started hearing names I’d never heard of before in my life. Names that now are part of are national vernacular. Names like Al-Qaida and Osama bin Laden. I discovered that terrorists had attacked us, and I remember thinking to myself, “Why?” At that moment, most terrorism I knew of were from names like McVeigh and Kaczynski.

I also remember the incredible amount of patriotism that flooded our great nation. Everything took on an esteemed importance, as though we realized that every moment of life was not to be trifled away and wasted. We were proud of our nation and we were proud of our heroes.

Five years later things have not turned out exactly as we probably had planned. I won’t go the route of cynicism, but I wish the patriotism that resulted from that terrible day still existed. I have mixed feelings on virtually every aspect of our current political climate, but I don’t have any mixed feelings on the importance of patriotism. We are a great nation. Those willing to stand up to oppression centuries ago forged who we are today and we’ve always fought oppression throughout our history. Granted, sometimes we took longer to fight it than we should have, and the fight continues on many fronts even to this day, both at home and abroad, but we are a great nation because the people that make our nation up have the potential to be true heroes.

My parents’ generation always talks about how they remember where they were when President John F. Kennedy was shot. I think my generation will always remember where we were when the towers fell.

(9-9-06) - WHEN KING IS BEING KING, HE IS FLAWLESS So I’ve been reading a lot of “high brow” books lately and while I learned a great deal from them, I was ready to get back to a book that I wanted to read purely for the pleasure of it. Since Chabon doesn’t have anything out at the moment, I decided to go to my Stephen King pile that I haven’t yet gotten to. I’ve read about 18 Stephen King books and have absolutely loved about 10 of them. While I’ve enjoyed them all, I wouldn’t say that most of his work from the 90s on have really compared to his earlier work., excluding his masterpiece Dark Tower series. Sure, there a few exceptions, but for the most part, he hasn’t been the same Stephen King who gave us Carrie, The Shining, and ‘Salem’s Lot. Granted, even at 75%, he’s still better than most, myself included, but I yearn for the old style that bequeathed us such great stories.

Okay, I got way off track there. My point is, I have about four Stephen King short story collections that I received several years ago and have never gotten around to reading them. Because I wanted to just relax when reading and enjoy myself, I picked up one of those short story collections called Night Shift.

I’m only about 25% through it, and this is vintage King—literally. I believe this collection was published somewhere between ’76 and ’78, and it is utterly compelling. Eerily engaging, wildly imaginative, this is the King I know and love.

(9-4-06) - REMEMBERING THE CROC HUNTER It was reported just moments ago that Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter, was killed by a stingray while filming an underwater sequence for a children’s show. It happened off the northeast coast of Australia. He was there filming a documentary for a show on Animal Planet but decided to get a few shots in for another show he was working on, a children’s show. He reportedly came down on top of a stingray and it stabbed him in the chest. He died soon thereafter.

Irwin was an adventurer and a naturalist, but first and foremost he was an educator, and he will be sorely missed.

(8-24-06) - AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A PLANET… In an amazing and historical event, 424 astronomers (which is less than five percent of the global astronomer community) voted Pluto out of its esteemed title of “Pluto: Planet.” Now Pluto is embarrassed to have to introduce himself as “Pluto: Dwarf Planet.” Come on guys, Pluto knew he was the teeniest of planets, but to demote him as an official dwarf planet…isn’t that just a little mean-spirited?

When asked for comment, the other planets didn’t really care much that Pluto has been kicked out of their club. Many of them described Pluto as, “cold,” “distant,” and “really, really small.”

Neptune, Pluto’s closest friend, went so far as to say, “I barely ever saw the guy around. I’m not going to miss him.” Uranus seemed relieved and offered, “At least I don’t have to listen to his stupid jokes about my name anymore.”

One planet who asked to remain anonymous in case Pluto ever gets readmitted into the Planet Club said, “You know, nine planets was such an odd number. With eight planets, we don’t have to have a sub anymore when we play a game of pick up b-ball.”

Oh, Pluto. I will miss you so. No matter what those less-than-five-percent-of-global-astronomers say, you’ll always be a planet in my book. Good luck with wherever your travels take you—I’m guessing still around the sun.

(8-23-06) - TOMMY, YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE So as most of you know, I am a big fan of the CBS show Rock Star. I loved it last season with INXS. I thought I would love it this season also as a new “super” group composed of Jason Newsted, Gilby Clarke, and Tommy Lee searched for their lead singer.

I was wrong.

The main reason I am not enjoying Rock Star: Supernova is because of Tommy Lee. Tommy’s been through a lot of ups and downs during his career, and he’s survived them all. And before this show, I actually liked Tommy Lee quite a bit. I accepted him for what he was and appreciated the music he produced.

However, Tommy is guilty of insulting both the contestants and the viewers of his television show. There are a few attractive women competing for the job of lead singer. Tommy, at this point, invariably makes a sexual comment to them after their performance. For instance, last night, after Storm Large gave her rendition of Aerosmith’s “Cryin’,” Tommy’s objective criticism went something like, “I want to see you without any clothes on.” Sure, this may have been funny if it was just a one-time thing. He’s a rock star, after all. But, he’s doing this, particularly to Storm, now on a regular basis. Unacceptable.

It bothers me because Tommy is sending both Storm (who is a talented singer) and the viewing audience a message that he absolutely does not take her seriously. And because Storm is one of the top two female singers in the competition, that tells us that he is not taking females seriously for the potential role of lead singer.

We all know Tommy is a sexual guy. We all know Tommy likes the ladies. Unfortunately, what he’s doing is at best condescending and at worst sexual harassment. I mean, are we seriously supposed to think that Tommy is going to hire a woman he wants to see naked as his lead singer? Are we supposed to believe Tommy can play in a band with a woman he wants to see naked and not wind up doing something that could split up the band?

Gilby Clarke and Jason Newsted seem like classy guys, relatively speaking, and I think I sense them writhing in discomfort when Tommy hits on Storm. I believe they see the writing on the wall, and Jason and Gilby have been through too much with, respectively, Metallica and Guns N’ Roses to let Tommy ruin Supernova before it has really gotten off the ground.

So what is the lesson here? The lesson is that Supernova is not taking the females seriously, which means the last month and a half have been a joke. If you want your lead singer to be a dude from the start, guys, then don’t make it open to females!

Furthermore, do the ladies, all of whom seem to be taking their musical career very seriously, really want to join a band where they’re going to be treated like a piece of meat by one of the members and apparently hit on non-stop?

I would hope the answer is no.

(8-8-06) - A RARE RANT One of my objectives with this blog is to post somewhat humorous, entertaining articles that will entice the reader to come back for more. However, even I must sometimes lament the horrors of this world. While I always keep my audience in mind, sometimes the desire to express an issue troubling me overtakes my writing and thus you get an article like what you are about to read. I hope you will bear with me.

When I sit and think about what I want to write about in these blogs, more often than not they revolve around popular culture or news about my work. As I’m in something of a creative slump at the moment while I wait for my latest book to come out, I don’t have much news to announce. Therefore, I find myself always looking for something dealing with pop culture to write about. There’s a lot to choose from at the moment. We’ve got Mel’s drunken rage, Paris vowing to ward off other people’s genitalia for a whole year, the NFL preseason has started, the USA basketball team is playing exhibition games, and so on. But it’s hard for me to take all of that seriously at the moment when I look at what’s going on in this world of ours.

I watch what’s happening in Israel and Lebanon on the television and have to wonder When will it end? When will a conflict that’s been off an on for literally centuries ever end? I think about how long our men and women have been in Iraq and have to wonder When will it end? I’m sickened at the fact that I sometimes forget we even have men and women in Iraq and the Middle East. Isn’t that terrible? What’s worse, I fear I may not be the only one who sometimes forgets our soldiers are in the midst of a war.

I am not a particularly political person. I don’t necessarily vote straight ticket. I tend to vote for whomever seems to be the smartest candidate, so don’t take this as a political rant against a particular politician. I simply cannot fathom how the husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, and children of these brave men and women are dealing with their loved ones still stationed over there, and I simply cannot understand how our nation’s politicians seem to be sweeping it under the rug!

I support our troops, no doubt. I thank them and I thank their families for the sacrifices they are making. I know that if it were not for people like them, people massively braver than myself, our nation would not be the place of freedom and liberty that it is today. I just wish our politicians felt the same.

But here’s the thing: it is not ultimately the politicians’ fault. It is ours. What I mean by that is the fact that we vote the politicians in. This nation is a democracy, after all. Now, I know the cynics’ argue that only those with money can achieve any real level of power in the political echelon of America, but that argument only goes so far. If everyone voted for the little politicians, you know, the men and women at the local level, if we voted for the best candidates at those levels and made sure they stuck to their word, there would be a grassroots change in the American political system. Our democracy is a large organism made up of many, many smaller pieces, and it thrives and survives off those smaller pieces. We may not be able to control the fact that the rich families are the most likely to be able to fund massive political campaigns, but we can control whether they get any support from the smaller components making up their political party.

Yes, this sort of idea is nothing new. But, when we have people voting more for American Idol on a weekly basis than we do for our presidential elections, there is a problem. We all, myself included, and I am far from innocent in this argument, must get out there and vote for those local politicians and hold them accountable. The average citizen can take control of our country, if we can only get off our couches to do so.

Please offer a prayer or a thought for those men and women fulfilling their sworn duties in Iraq, and please offer a prayer or a thought for a resolution between Israel and Lebanon. When I think of all the hate in this world and the weapons everyone has, sometimes I’m amazed we are still here at all.

Thanks for bearing with my rant…

(8-3-05) - THE DEATH AND RESURRECTION OF JOHN MADDEN The other day I found myself flipping through the channels and came across several sports reporters lamenting the woes of John Madden. They went on and on about the wonderful coaching career he had and seemed genuinely concerned about him. It seemed the stuff of eulogies, and so my first thought was of course, “Great Caesar’s ghost! John Madden has died!”

I couldn’t believe it! The man who had uttered such sage sayings as, “You see, when a team scores against another team, that’s called a touchdown.” And who could forget, “What you want to do when playing defense is, you want to keep the other team from advancing.” Okay, I’ll admit it, I couldn’t remember any exact quotes of his, so I made those up. But you get the idea.

Anyway, I became enraged at the sports reporters because they would not detail the cause of Madden’s death! How dare they! A man has died, and all you can talk about is his achievements when coaching the Raiders! Have a heart, sports reporters; nay, have a care!

My only option with the sports reporters handily failing me was to reach out to the information highway mere feet away from my fingers. I logged on to msn.com, my oracle of all news current.

Nothing! Nothing!

But alas, the sports reporters were still on the tube and finally they began mentioning the Football Hall of Fame.

What’s this?

Oh.

John Madden lives. Apparently he’d finally been inducted into the Hall of Fame. They were lamenting why it took so long. Madden was fine, relatively speaking of course.

Huh.

(8-1-06) - THIS IS NOTHING TO JOKE ABOUT First and foremost, if you are not a fan of Batman Begins or, more specifically, Batman, than this little article will not interest you in the least. However, if you are a Bat-Fan, then you must read on.

It has been confirmed by Warner Brothers that Heath Ledger will play the role of the Joker in the sequel to Batman Begins, called The Dark Knight. Now, a lot of the fanboys have already started with the “Brokeback Joker” tirades and are dismissing Ledger as a respectable Joker. I couldn’t disagree more.

First of all, highly respected filmmaker and director Ang Lee hired Ledger to star in Brokeback Mountain, a very serious drama that required real courage to take part in. Second of all, Ledger has had some nice moments in his acting career thus far. For instance, I thought he was very good in The Patriot, and though it was a comedy, I also thought he did a nice job in Ten Things I Hate About You. And yet, I will admit it, he’s had some flops as well. But, you have to think, if Christopher Nolan, the director of Batman Begins and its follow-up, has faith in Heath Ledger, than shouldn’t we as well? After all, he brought in Christian Bale, someone I never would have dreamed of, and Bale brought an intensity to Batman never realized on film. He brought in Cillian Murphy, a truly creepy villain as the Scarecrow, and need I mention all the big names he brought in to play minor roles. Nolan is respected and Nolan is intelligent. He knows what he’s doing.

I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “But Scott William Foley, Ledger will never be able to out-do Jack Nicholson’s hilarity as the Joker!” You’re right. You’re exactly right. You’re right because Jack Nicholson, as awesome as he was, was playing Jack Nicholson. You looked at the screen and you didn’t see the Joker, you saw Jack Nicholson in white make-up. And what was fine! He rocked! I loved his Joker.

However, you want to realize that what makes the Joker work is not his flamboyancy, it’s his utter and psychotic maliciousness. The Joker is a mass murderer. The Joker is sick and twisted, he is terrifying, remorseless. Imagine a Joker who wasn’t funny at all. Imagine simply a psycho who looks like a joker from your deck of cards. Imagine the intensity required for that sort of Joker. I think Ledger can pull it off.

I will now undo all of my previous arguments by saying that I still wanted Crispin Glover to get the role.

(7-30-06) - SHE’S OBVIOUSLY CRAZY… On this day my beautiful, genius, and eternally patient wife and I have been married for two years exactly. While I question her sanity for putting up with all my silly quirks, I’m so glad she does. I love her with all my heart and look forward to many, many more years of joy and everything else that marriage brings.

(7-27-06) - I’M ABOUT TO GO SUPERNOVA So, here’s the thing, I hate to get all worked up over a television show, because I generally try to stay away from the tv. I can kill more time watching tv than I can on the computer, and that’s no small feat. It’s just that the boys from Supernova on Rock Star: Supernova are driving me crazy! Not Seal Crazy, not Patsy Cline Crazy, not Aerosmith Crazy, heck, not even Gnarles Barkley Crazy, but just plain, good old fashion…crazy.

Okay, let’s just get it out in the open, there’s only really four rockers that actually stand a chance at fronting Supernova, and they are Dilana, Lukas, Storm, and Toby. I’ll even give a wildcard to Magni. Those are the finalists. Everyone else is just fodder to be eliminated week by week. That’s not to say the others aren’t talented, they just aren’t right for Tommy, Jason, and Gilby.

All that being said, why, oh why, is Zarya still in the running? She was up for elimination last night and Supernova saved her for the second time! She is absolutely completely wrong for this band. She has no respect or passion for this band. She’s one of those people who is totally in it for the exposure. Last night they kicked off Phil, who granted, didn’t have a prayer of winning, but why kick off a guy trying to be a rocker and keep the pop singer who is simply in it for the publicity?

I’ll tell you why she’s still around: Zarya equals ratings. You know that the producers of this show are telling the guys to keep her around as long as you can, she’s good television. Logically, I can see their rationale for such a thing, but in my heart, that stinks. The guys said they kicked Phil off because they questioned his commitment when it was between he and Zayra. You could tell the other contestants thought it was the biggest load of feces they’d ever heard.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter, the final four are the true contestants, but it still reeks of commercialism and I don’t like it. Of course, I guess the whole band was put together for the purpose of this television show, so I don’t know what I expected…

(7-24-06) - WELL, IT’S OFFICIAL . . . I’M MARRIED! Today my wife and I finally engaged in an action that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that we’re married. Oh, sure, you may argue that with our second anniversary mere days away, that should be all the proof we need, and that’s a sound conclusion. But alas, the true indication is this: Today, we merged our CD collection.

Until now, we’d kept her CDs on the main floor and my CDs in the basement. I don’t know why, maybe it’s all the romance and solidarity building up for the second anniversary, but we decided it was time for our CDs to meet each other. Oh, and meet each other they did.

What? You’re telling me Kelly Clarkson can’t hang out next to the Doors? You don’t like Carrie Underwood fraternizing with Garbage? I say bah! to that! We’re two crazy kids in love, and if that means putting CDs together that otherwise have no earthly business hanging out on the same shelf, so be it!

That’s love!

(7-23-06) - THE INEXPLICABLENESS OF MY MOVIE PREDILECTIONS At www.swilliamfoley.com, I like to post reviews of movies I’ve watched. I do it because I want to help you. I know you enter the local movie rental place and pace for hours upon hours, searching for that perfect movie. Your time is far too valuable for that. That’s where I come in. I give you the nuts and bolts, the peanut butter and jelly, the Sigfried and Roy. I give you what I liked and/or what I didn’t like. That way, you can go into the local movie rental place armed with the most valuable weapon of all—knowledge!

So, over the last few days, some have brought it to my attention that my movie reviews are inconsistent at best. I scoff at some critically acclaimed flicks and love some supposed stinkers. What can I say people? I don’t dance for the man!

When I watch a movie I’m judging it with three things:

1) Does it have a good, original story? If the answer is yes, no matter what the subject matter, I’ll like it. If it’s compelling and well crafted, it’s good. It’s that simple in my world.

2) How’s the acting and cinematography? Was the director trying to do something unique? Were the actors giving it their best shot or just phoning it in? I’ve seen high caliber actors in prestigious films sleepwalking, and I’ve seen no-names in largely unrecognized flicks knock it out of the park, so you never know!

3) Finally, even if the above two are a no-go, is the movie at least entertaining? Did I at least enjoy myself? Even if it didn’t change me on an intellectual or emotional level, even if it didn’t make me re-evaluate my perspective on a topic, did it make me smile? (Smiling does not equate laughter, for the record.) Did I find myself enjoying it for some inconceivable reason, be it due to the charisma of the actors, or the costumes, or the direction? If any of the above is a yes, then the movie’s got a shot!

Ultimately, I want you to know that I love movies. Typically a movie will have to be pretty indistinguishable to get a bad review from me. As you can see, my criteria are fairly broad. Anyway, I hope this has helped explain my tastes in movies. Somehow I think this may have been more confusing than clarifying…

(7-19-06) - I HATE WET UNDIES I have to tell you, this heat wave and I are not getting along at all. The other day I ran my ultra-cool ScottWilliamFoley-mobile through the carwash because I was going to be seeing my dad later. Anybody who knows Scott William Foley: The Father knows that he is very, very into clean cars. Ever the favorite son, I wanted my cherry-red chariot looking its best for him. However, once I got home from the cw (carwash), I realized that the dirt and grime from last winter hadn’t been washed away from my tires. Despite the fact that I rarely wash our cars, I do have all the proper tools for such a thing (I would have made a great boy scout but for my fear of khaki shorts). Therefore, I moseyed on into the ScottWilliamFoley-cave and got out the good old tire foam cleaner stuff. As the weird foamy stuff was doing its thing, I realized that my rims were pretty gross as well.

Now, I began to feel the twinge of a roaring current down my back during all this, but I stuck with it because I believe in hard work and determination. Always have and always will. Stay in school. Even though my shirt now stuck to me like white on rice, like stink on smelly, I would not falter in my mission. I broke out the paper towels, wetted them down, and wiped off all the rims. But hey, guess what, we were leaving for the night to visit my parents, as I said, so I decided while I had a nice dehydration-thing going on and since I had the hose (or as they say in NC [North Carolina], hose pipe) out in order to wash off the remains of the strange foamy tire stuff, I should go ahead and water the flowers. Can’t let the flowers die, you know.

Needless to say, long story short, cutting to the quick, by the time I finished with the tires, the rims, and the flowers, I was soaked. Soaked, I tell you! I had to change clothes before we left for my parents’.

I hate wet undies.

(7-17-06) - I’M LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD NERDS Are you watching VH1’s The World Series of Pop Culture? If you’re not, well, you obviously have no life. I mean, it’s only on every single night of the workweek!

Anyway, I seriously think I could be a dominant contender on that show. Now, now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “But Scott William Foley, everybody thinks they’re good at game shows.” Yes, that’s true, I agree, but seriously, I could kick major gluteus maximus if given a shot on The World Series of Pop Culture! I watch it with my wife, after I promise to keep my obnoxious dial below five, and I can answer, like, ninety-percent of the questions! Ninety-percent! Hey, it’s not bragging if you can back it up, so step off!

I didn’t mean that! Sorry for the dork-aggression! Truth is, I need you. Just like the Beatles, I need a little help from my friends. You see, you have to be on a team of three to try out for The World Series of Pop Culture. Do you see where I’m going with this? That’s right, I’m looking for a few good nerds.

Now I’ve got some people in mind, I won’t lie to you. But this is an open call, and just like with my coffee, the cream will rise to the top. I don’t care if you’re Irish, Mocha, French Vanilla, Hazelnut, Amaretto, Crème Brulee, Chocolate Raspberry, Coconut Crème, Toasted Almond, Cinnamon Vanilla, Toffee Nut, Vanilla Chai Spice, WHATEVER! I don’t care! If you’re good enough, you’re in.

Official details to come later . . . in the meantime, start sending in your applications.

(7-14-06) - WHEN YOU’RE COOL LIKE ME When you’re cool like me, you’ve got this insatiable urge to write a review on every book you read. I don’t know if it’s because book reports were my strongest subject during my formative years or what, but I’ve just got to do it. It’s like Dracula and blood, Tommy Lee and sex, Paris Hilton and tastelessness; it can’t be fought.

So, other than my “official” website, I like to post my book reports, uh, that is, my book reviews on Amazon.com. Only the coolest people on planet Earth do that. Now you may or may not know this, but people can actually vote on whether they found your review helpful or not.

Cool as I am, I’m no scientist. That being said, I’ve discovered a trend, something on the scale of Ivan Pavlov . . . when you post a positive review, people vote on it as very helpful. But, when you write a negative review, people vote that you weren’t helpful at all. By the way, I have no idea if the Pavlov reference was accurate. Run with me people, run with me.

Anyway, I happen to think that my reviews are always helpful, you know, because I’ve got a healthy ego. Just because I write a bad review on a book, that doesn’t mean the review wasn’t helpful. I simply point out what didn’t work for me. I think people that read my reviews are so smitten with the author they’re looking at, they can’t fathom said author could ever write a book that wasn’t God’s gift. I’ve got news for you folks, some writers can produce real stink bombs. Myself excluded, of course.

So there we go. I will now quote Forest Gump on the subject with, “That’s about all I have to say about that.”

Was this slightly tongue-in-cheek article helpful to you? YES NO (Report this)

(7-8-06) - PICTURES FROM BAR HARBOR AND ACADIA NATIONAL PARK Here are a few pictures my wife took during our vacation to Bar Harbor, Maine. Acadia National Park was just a few miles down the road, so we visited its beauty often. I cannot recommend visiting the Bar Harbor area enough!

(7-7-06) - ROCKS FOR BRAINS: PART II Last night, as I watched the elimination episode of Rock Star, I felt a little unfair to the boys who sang Yellow and Iris. Turns out, and I’d forgotten this, the group of contestants were given a limited number of songs to choose from. Therefore, somebody had to sing songs by the Goo Goo Dolls and Coldplay.

Because of that, when the fella who sang Yellow found himself in the bottom three and had an opportunity to prove he had rock chops by choosing his own song to present to Tommy, Gilby, and Jason, I thought he’d bring something incredible. I thought he’d go the polar opposite of Coldplay. I thought he’d bring the house down.

He didn’t.

He sang Planet Earth by Duran Duran. Yes, Duran Duran. You remember, that band Metallica, Motley Crue, and Guns N’ Roses destroyed in the mid-eighties.

Needless to say, he found himself dismissed from the show.

(7-6-06) - ROCKS FOR BRAINS I am ecstatic at the return of Rock Star on CBS. Normally I am a strong opponent against reality television, but Rock Star won me over last season as INXS searched for their new front man.

A few months ago, when I heard the new band to be featured called itself Supernova, I thought to myself, “Who?” I immediately assumed they were some no-name band and Rock Star would go down in flames.

Happily, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Supernova is a new band comprised of Tommy Lee, former drummer of Motley Crue; Gilby Clarke, former guitarist for Guns N’ Roses; and Jason Newsted, former bassist of Metallica. Now, that’s a band!

So the show started last night and I had a wonderful time watching it. Some of those auditioning were excellent, some gave it a valiant effort, but almost all of them rocked!

But here’s my question to a few who didn’t rock: What were you thinking? I’m not kidding you, two brainless wonders stood right in front of three true rockers and covered songs by the Goo Goo Dolls and Coldplay! Were they serious? You’ve got representatives from Motley Crue, Guns N’ Roses, and Metallica, and you sing Yellow? You sing Iris? Those two guys deserved to get the boot right then and there!

We’ll see what happens to them tonight.

To the rest of the performers I say, “Rock on!”

Published on November 29, 2007 at 2:39 am

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Scott William Foley

~Provoking the Imagination~

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